


Dearest V

by TheLastDemiWarriorNinjaofFireSide



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, It’s a loovveeee letter babey, Love Letters, M/M, i might make a continuation of this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:33:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24747631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLastDemiWarriorNinjaofFireSide/pseuds/TheLastDemiWarriorNinjaofFireSide
Summary: A paper, with some numbers and jargon on one side, words on the other. It’s crumpled up, stepped on, and covered in badly-drawn hearts and other doodles.It’s a letter.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Comments: 20
Kudos: 77





	Dearest V

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to an episode of: IM ON A PRINXIETY KICK RN
> 
> Please enjoy this _entirely_ self-indulgent fic.

~~Dearest V~~

~~Dear, Vi~~

~~To Virgil~~

~~No that sounds way too formal. I don’t want to sound like Logan, now do I? lol~~

Well... hey, Virgil. Remember that time on Valentine’s Day when we talked about the best way to get a date? ~~Well, Patton mentioned writing down all your thoughts onto a paper~~

~~No, why would I bring up Patton? This ain’t about him~~

Well, you mentioned taking the love interest by the hand, but I’m pretty sure you didn’t think that through, because you might punch me in the teeth if I ever tried to randomly ~~(Is that how you spell it?)~~ grab you by the hand, fight and flight instinct and that.

~~This is stupid, but~~

Anyways, i know for a FACT that you would hate a grand gesture of any sorts, and I will admit that it’s a biiit unrealistic to kill whatever you hate most— ~~hope that’s not me, lol, or else I’d be in trouble. I could maybe kill Janus for you, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my days in a grimy dungeon, if you catch my drift~~

~~OH MY GOD WHY DID I BRING UP KILLING PEOPLE IM NOT GOING TO **MURDER** JANUS WTF~~

it is a **bit** unrealistic to kill whatever you hate most, so I decided against that

~~Get the the FUCKING point dude oh my GODDDD~~

~~What I’m saying is that this is a love letter.~~

~~NOT like that, geez!!! Virge has ANXIETY you’re not supposed to be BRASH—anyways, where’s the dramatic reveal??? Hmm, maybe I should quote Shakespeare?? Wait, no, scratch that. that’s wayyyyyy over the top.~~

God, this whole thing is a TRAIN WRECK lmao, why are all my attempts so c r i n g e y?????? CUTTT—

— — —

~~Dear Virgil~~

~~We’ve gone through this, none of that “dear Virgil” stuff—it’s stupid and you KNOW he’d hate it—maybe the Logan option was the best option~~

~~To Virgil,~~

~~Hhhh nOPE I cant do that.~~

Virgil,

~~hey wait maybe i should write a poem~~

~~But nothing in this GODDAMN WORLD rhymes with Virgil, besides mayyyyyybe “gerbil” and I am NOT doing that, so that’s a no~~

Okay okay, I got this.

Virgil. Do you remember when we first met?? MAN we hated each other. That’s...probably not the best opener, but y’know what? I’m not even gonna GIVE this to you so like... I could say ANYTHING and it wouldn’t make a difference, really.

Like, y’know how we hated each other at first? We argued allllllll the time and stuff? I remember wanting NOTHING but you being gone, away from out friend group. That’s awful, I know—I’ve done a lot of awful things... to you, especially. 

I should tell you I’m sorry, one of these days.

See, I guess if I had to explain it, the reason I hated you so much was... well, _pride_ , I guess. Or insecurity. ~~Both? Both. Both is good. (Lol)~~ What was the quote from Uncle Iroh, again? ”Pride is not the opposite to shame, but it’s source.”? Pretty sure it’s something like that. Well, anyways, I guess that’s what happened, but instead of shame, it was insecurity.

Wow, this was supposed to be a love letter, not a psychoanalysis of my my own superiority complex. But whatever, y’know? My ~~theapist~~ — ~~goddamn this pen~~ my therapist used to say that writing down your thoughts could really help your mental health—that’s why I started writing stories, actually! 

Anyways, I’m getting off topic again. Sorry. So, we hated each other. But then... I don’t know, you just grew on me, I guess. I started sorta looking forward to our bantering? And then that made me angry. Call it gay repression, or whatever. I just... you seemed to fit in with the others so _well,_ and we just... _argued?_ And the others would get mad at me because we argued, and... idk. It scared me, I guess.

And it wasn’t like you didn’t have any friends!! You had Janus and Remus!! To be honest, I probably didn’t like you very much because of how much you hung out with my brother. We REALLY didn’t leave any good first ~~impresi~~ impressions on each other, and I could never really let that go.

But I remember feeling so _scared_ when you ran away— ~~I didn’t care, at first.~~ I didn’t really comprehend at first that you running away meant that our entire lives would change. Like, literally. I never knew how much of my day was centered around you, lol. Everything felt so... empty.

And y’know, I meant every single word in that phone call I sent. You... make everything better. You make our whole group better. 

You make _me_ better.

And I’m sorry for being such a prick, and I’m sorry when I keep _fucking_ up and antagonize you again. I SWEAR I’m trying to be better. 

I think... I think when you ran away... I’m pretty sure that’s when I fell in love with you.

Okay. Well. “Love” is a strong word, please forgive me if I throw it around. But saying “fall in like” sounds so... childish? And I know IM the childish one, but I think by now... maybe I do love you? I don’t know. I’ve never really had a crush this big—none so _meaningful_ before, so I think it’s a fair assumption, right? I don’t think I’d even be able to function if you left again.

I’m ~~sereious~~ serious!! Ever since you came back— I just... I NOTICE things about you now, things that I tried to ignore before (gay represion again, lol), but now I just— I can’t!! I love your nervous habits—chewing on your hair, tugging on your sleeves, blowing your bangs out of your face— every single thing is just so fucking endearing and I just want to hold you tight and never ever ever let go.

And, god, this is cliche, but your EYES, Virgil. Your fucking, mismatched, holy-hell-those-must-be-illegal EYES. I swear, every time you look at me I almost drop whatever I’m holding. How is it possible to have such pretty eyes??? Like??? How??? I swear I’ve never seen a richer brown, or a more vivid green in my entire LIFE. Do you remember that really awful party that Patton made us go to?? The one the teachers organized so it was boring as hell??? When we went outside to escape... I swear, Virgil, the sunset.... **god** you looked so **beautiful**. Like, with the lighting, and when you looked at me when I made fun of Logan and Patton being oblivious— god, I just wanted to kiss you right then and there.

And speaking of beautiful, your art?? The first time I saw one one of your drawings I was so fucking jealous lmao. Just like—Jesus, you do everything perfectly, don’t you?? And, y’know me, I adore anything of the arts. It’s like, I’m the writer and you’re the artist. It’s perfect! I feel like we just kinda... match, y’know?

Well, you probably **don’t** know, which is why I’m not ever actually going to let you see any of my failed attempts at love letters—id really rather die lmao— because like, I don’t want to ruin what we have, y’know? I’m lucky to at least be your friend. I’m on thin ice as it is, with our history and all. Maybe when we’re older, I guess...

Anyways, I feel stupid enough as it is lmao, so I’m going to stop pouring my heart out onto this random paper—I think this is homework from like a month ago, whoops—especially since I’m running out of room. Anyways bye, au revoir, adios, whatever.

~~With love,~~

~~Love you,~~

~~Love~~

~~Cincerly,~~

  
  


~~Cincereley,~~

~~Siniserly,  
  
~~

~~Sincerly,~~

FUCK

~~Pls don’t hate me,~~

God I can’t do this lmao 

~ Roman

... ❤️

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hopefully it isn’t as bad as my brain is telling me it is. I may make something else having to do with this—but knowing me, it’ll just sit in my wips folder and never see the light of day lol
> 
> To add authenticity, I didn’t delete any words—I just crossed them out. Thought you would like to know.
> 
> **Roman:** *writes the phrase “psychoanalysis of my my own superiority complex”*
> 
> **Also Roman:** How the fuck do you spell Cinserly


End file.
